On This Day One Year Ago,

Hey folks!

I haven’t posted a blog in a really long time. As you guys know, the last time I came on here was to talk about the events that happened with my extremely toxic ex and friends. In the span of a year, there has been such a dramatic change in my life. So much love, happiness, and relief entered my heart, and a huge weight got taken off my shoulders. 

When Nestor and I first got together, I remember crying almost every day whenever he comforted me because the words he said was true; “It wasn’t your fault you stayed so long because you wanted to fix things.”“Nothing was your fault. It was his because he let a good person go.”“You’re the strongest person I know. Inside and out.”

If you know me, I never cry in public nor do I like talking about my feelings, but after holding in every thing that happened between me and my ex, for FOUR YEARS, I couldn’t contain it anymore. Opening up to someone I truly trust was the first step to renewing myself. From the very beginning, Nestor has never left my side and he’s never put me in a position where I had to question our relationship because he’s the one I’ve been waiting 8 years for. 

I could go on and on about how thankful I am for Nestor and everything he’s done for me, but now that May is coming to a close, I have a huge memory I want to share. Exactly one year ago on May 25, 2017, I had my first orientation for Summer Fun. It was also the very first time in seven years that I saw Nestor again. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with excitement because the last time we were ever in the same place was back in middle school when he promised he would come on the last day of eighth grade. (You all know that story.) My heart was so happy yet sad because in the process of working on myself since 2015, I was also trying to get rid of my ex but he wouldn’t let me leave. This caused so many mental/emotional problems for me because I wasn't truly happy, but yet I was forced to stay with someone because he was too obsessed with the idea of there being an US when I knew from day one he wasn’t in my future. 

On May 25, 2017, I made the decision to pursue the feelings I’ve kept hidden for so long. I felt like Nestor was my way out. I tried everything I could for my ex to see me as a bad person, but nothing worked. If my ex wanted to trap me, I was going to give him a reason to let me go. For the first time since 2010, I did what I wanted to do. From this day on, I made the move to text Nestor every single second of the day...and yes, I know I had just made four years with my ex a few days prior. But understand it from my point of view, if you wanted to get out of a relationship so badly, and tried everything you could to leave, but was trapped, you would have no choice but to focus on yourself. I lived through every single day as if I was a zombie. I hated my life. I hated my partner. I just wanted to be free and live the way I wanted to. 

Since orientation, Nestor and I finally had something to talk about-- Summer Fun. I constantly bugged him about how I would mess with him at training the week after, and how he should share his lesson plan ideas with me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't go into these conversations with the intention to get a second chance with him. Here I was, a girl who's been in a miserable relationship for four years, and I'm over here talking to my other ex. An ex I never got over. It already screams trouble, but I didn't care. I wanted to be happy, and I knew I had to follow my heart for once. 

Nestor kept his distance because he and the public knew I was still in a "happy" relationship though in my heart and mind, I've been single since 2015. I had to step back many times to remind myself that there was still someone with the title of my boyfriend floating around, and I had to give him one last warning about how serious I was about leaving this time. Which I made sure to do weeks before Nestor and I started dating, and the rest is history. 

All in all, today's date is special to me because it was the first time in a long time God let Nestor and I see each other again. Everything works on God's clock, and although it was seven years later, I'm so glad he chose now to be the perfect time Nestor and I to come back into one another's lives.