We Were Fated
Fate is such a tricky word. It's something that's said when a certain event is out of a person's control. With all the hardships Nestor and I went through individually in our times apart, there was no telling of when we'd get back together or IF we would have that chance in the first place. Not a lot of people gets a love story like ours, and I'm extremely grateful God chose us to tell it and live through it.
If someone told my 11-year old self about all the obstacles I had coming up in my future, I would've thought they were crazy. How could someone with such a great and happy soul ever go through that much pain, heartbreak, and betrayal in a span of ten years? But if that someone told me all of that pain was needed in order to gain wisdom about myself, the world, and true happiness, I would've happily accepted my fate. Now I know what you're thinking, why on Earth would I ever want to relive the nightmares that still haunt me in my waking life? Because in the end, I would have the only person who ever made my heart skip a beat.
All throughout high school, no one else mattered to me because Nestor was the only person I ever pictured myself with. I was constantly looking for him in someone else. I tried letting myself understand how it felt to love and be loved in return, but for that to work, both people have to be willing to make it work. The boys I dated were never in love me just as much as I wasn't in 'love' with them. Because Nestor had my heart all this time, the biggest mistake I did was waste all those years of my life seeking love from others when I could have been working on myself. I wished the guys I dated was "the one," to save me from another heartbreak like my first one, but it never worked out because God had already paired me with someone else.
From the very first time my boyfriend and I met back in 2008, God already had a plan for us. He planned to give us a taste of what love was, to part ways, go through different paths to work on ourselves, and then eventually bring us back together once we matured and appreciated love. At some point in time, Nestor and I both understood this, and tried getting back together earlier than what God had in mind. We ran into and fell for each other during the times we were already in relationships (or recovering from a breakup), and since we're not cheaters, we had nothing to do but wait. Wait for "next time," wait to be single, wait for God give us the perfect time.
My biggest regret was breaking my own promise when I went into high school; to wait for Nestor. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I could go back in time for anything, anything at all, it would be to tell my Freshman Year self, "Don't rush anything. High school is for you to find yourself, not for others to find it for you. God is giving Nestor the same exact test. You guys will be happy again together, but for now, just wait on it. It'll get better." Sadly, that's a regret/mistake I have to live with for the rest of my life, but at least I'll have the love of my life by my side this time.
If someone told my 11-year old self about all the obstacles I had coming up in my future, I would've thought they were crazy. How could someone with such a great and happy soul ever go through that much pain, heartbreak, and betrayal in a span of ten years? But if that someone told me all of that pain was needed in order to gain wisdom about myself, the world, and true happiness, I would've happily accepted my fate. Now I know what you're thinking, why on Earth would I ever want to relive the nightmares that still haunt me in my waking life? Because in the end, I would have the only person who ever made my heart skip a beat.
All throughout high school, no one else mattered to me because Nestor was the only person I ever pictured myself with. I was constantly looking for him in someone else. I tried letting myself understand how it felt to love and be loved in return, but for that to work, both people have to be willing to make it work. The boys I dated were never in love me just as much as I wasn't in 'love' with them. Because Nestor had my heart all this time, the biggest mistake I did was waste all those years of my life seeking love from others when I could have been working on myself. I wished the guys I dated was "the one," to save me from another heartbreak like my first one, but it never worked out because God had already paired me with someone else.
From the very first time my boyfriend and I met back in 2008, God already had a plan for us. He planned to give us a taste of what love was, to part ways, go through different paths to work on ourselves, and then eventually bring us back together once we matured and appreciated love. At some point in time, Nestor and I both understood this, and tried getting back together earlier than what God had in mind. We ran into and fell for each other during the times we were already in relationships (or recovering from a breakup), and since we're not cheaters, we had nothing to do but wait. Wait for "next time," wait to be single, wait for God give us the perfect time.
My biggest regret was breaking my own promise when I went into high school; to wait for Nestor. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I could go back in time for anything, anything at all, it would be to tell my Freshman Year self, "Don't rush anything. High school is for you to find yourself, not for others to find it for you. God is giving Nestor the same exact test. You guys will be happy again together, but for now, just wait on it. It'll get better." Sadly, that's a regret/mistake I have to live with for the rest of my life, but at least I'll have the love of my life by my side this time.
Comments
Post a Comment